Stay A While
by 67OtakuGirl24X3
Summary: As seen on my AO3: The possibility of being something special to Kagami has been the only thing keeping Himuro in Japan for all these years. Now that there's no possibility at all, he's decided to say good-bye to Japan once and for all. But what he doesn't realize is that there's someone he'll be leaving behind.


The worst, yet most effective way, to find things out is through the internet.

Himuro was on Taiga Kagami's Facebook page. Not _stalking_ him, per se; more like, _checking up on him._ They hadn't spoken in quite a while, and there was no chance in hell that he was going to contact him himself. So, he chose to observe him incognito, through social networking.

It began with a status: "I'm going to do something big today. Nervous… Pumped, though." Twenty minutes after that, his name was tagged in a photo posted by Tetsuya Kuroko. It was a picture showing off a handsome ring glittering on his pale hand, with the caption, "I said yes. :)" At nearly the exact same time of day, Kagami posted another status, reading, "HE SAID YES." Soon after, Himuro got a notification telling him that Taiga Kagami changed his profile picture. It was no longer one of his typical glaring-attractively-at-a-bathroom-mirror selfies, but instead a picture of him and Kuroko, kissing on the couch, most likely taken with a front-view camera. Tetsuya Kuroko was tagged in this photo; it received 3 likes in the first minute of being posted.

This information seemed all too new, and all too impossible. The last time Himuro had seen or spoken to Kagami had been when they happened to encounter each other on a street basketball court. They went one-on-one, tossing sharp small talk back and forth between them. Nothing significant was going on for either of them, it seemed. The match ended with Himuro's crushing defeat and Kagami left with just a wave of his hand; no official "good-bye." That had been a whole month ago. And now, Kagami was engaged. _Getting married._ Himuro couldn't believe it.

….no, he could. He knew that Kagami and Kuroko had been dating for a long time- since the end of their first year of high school, as he recalled. He had never heard any news of them breaking up, so if it wasn't going to happen soon, Kagami probably assumed it would never happen. So of course he would ask Kuroko to marry him. Still, as he sat dazedly in his computer chair, Himuro couldn't wrap his head around this news. Obviously, Kuroko must have been surprised by this, but was anyone else? Had Kagami let any of his other friends in on his little plan? Not that he could really expect himself to be considered one of Kagami's _friends…_ They weren't brothers anymore, but, Himuro still liked to think of them as close acquaintances. After all, he had his phone number in his contact list. That must mean _something…_

His vision was going blurry. It was ridiculous to think of him and Kagami as "close" and he knew it. The two of them were completely detached, their ties not 100% cut but still hewed enough that they might as well be gone. Kagami was clearly in love with Tetsuya Kuroko. So why was it… that whenever Himuro closed his eyes… he thought about his old friend? He thought about him laughing, thought about him crying, thought about him getting angry, but mostly, he thought about him being with him. Not Kuroko, but Himuro himself. He imagined the feeling of his practiced fingers on his cheek and in his hair, his rough lips against his own. Sometimes, he imagined him a little more… erotically. Yet, his mind never categorized these images as fantasy. They were simply a reachable reality that he was waiting to happen.

His heart gave a sudden lurch as it dawned at him at last that these desires were nothing but that: foolish, senseless desires. Taiga Kagami had already given his heart to someone; he was never going to love him. He was going to love Tetsuya forever, and never love _Tatsuya. That_ was the truth. His eyes were stinging, now; the tears began to pour down his cheeks.

…he couldn't deal with this. There was no way. The way of coping was clear to him: leave. After the basketball team he had signed for disbanded a year ago, what reason did he have for lingering in Japan? There was nothing of interest to him here. Nothing except his childhood friend, that is. If Kagami was the only thing keeping him there, it was evident that he needed to go. Drying his eyes, he scrolled to the top of his Facebook and typed into the status bar: "Done with Japan. I'm coming home, America." Then he clicked _Post_ with more force than was necessary. Of course, this made it sound like he had something against the country as a whole, not just one particular person… Still, he couldn't exactly tell the entire internet that he was moving countries because of a little heartbreak.

Slamming the laptop shut, he pushed back his chair and stormed off to his bedroom. He pulled a suitcase out from under the bed, and started packing away his clothes.

It was an abrupt decision, but something was telling him it wasn't a bad one. Even though he didn't have enough money to find somewhere to live, his entire family lived in America, so he could simply stay with one of his relatives for a while. The money he _did_ have was enough to pay the traveling expenses, and he didn't have many belongings worth bringing with him. Of course, there were issues with real-estate he'd have to deal with… But in his state of hysterics, Himuro wasn't thinking completely logically.

Amidst the emotional chaos inside his mind, one particular thought stuck out to him: _I should call Atsushi._ He froze mid-packing for a moment as he acknowledged this suggestion. Atsushi Murasakibara, a former teammate of his until he dropped out of high school and became a shut-in that only left the house to eat and hang out with Himuro. Their friendship was strange and unhealthy, but something Himuro had come to accept in his life. Shouldn't he vent to his only friend, first, before making any rash decisions? …no. Because that would imply that what he was doing wasonly out of impulse, and he refused to accept that. He _needed_ to leave.

After emptying only half of his wardrobe into a suitcase, he rushed out of the room and returned to his computer desk. If he was serious about this, he had to prove it to himself. So he restarted his laptop, and pulled up a travel site. Once he purchased the plane ticket, there would be no turning back.

But his fierce concentration was suddenly interrupted by the sound of his ringtone. Who on earth was calling him?! Huffing exasperatedly, he smacked his pockets until his fingers made contact with his phone, slid it out of his pocket, and pressed _Answer_ without viewing the caller ID. "Who is-"

"Are you leaving Japan?"

Himuro's words caught in his throat as the voice on the other line cut him off. It had an uninterested tone to it, and wouldn't sound any less tired even under the effect of three cups of coffee. "Atsushi? Why are you calling me?!" It then occurred to him that Murasakibara had already answered that question with his own question. "….yes. I am. How did you know?"

"Facebook." Of course. …but how did he find out so soon? _Maybe he does to me what I do to Taiga,_ Himuro thought with an edge of disgust. "For how long?" Murasakibara immediately continued. The muffled sound of his voice and the crunching in between words made it evident that he was eating something.

"Forever, you idiot," Himuro snapped back. "I said I'm _done._ As in, finished. _Not coming back."_

"That's dumb. I'm coming over."

Himuro felt a flurry of agitated emotions with that. "What the hell, it isn't- Wait, what?! What do you mean you're coming-" But Murasakibara had already ended the call. Groaning irately through clenched teeth, Himuro resumed searching through flights.

Just as he narrowed down what seemed to be the best option, his doorbell rang. He didn't even get up to answer it (not that he was going to, anyway) when Murasakibara walked in, ducking in the doorway. "Why are you leaving?" Walking in uninvited without even a greeting; how like him…

"Get out of my house, you stupid ape," Himuro barked, glaring.

"Answer my question." Even with his slow gait, Murasakibara was across the room with only a couple strides. He grabbed Himuro by the wrist and yanked him out of the chair. This was enough to wipe the threatening expression right off of his face; even after years of being acquainted with Murasakibara, his massive size never became any less intimidating. _"Why are you leaving?"_ he repeated, leaning down so that his and Himuro's noses were practically touching.

Himuro turned his face away. "Because I hate it here."

"You're lying."

"Shut the hell up, I'm not-" But Himuro realized in horror that he had given himself away; a tear dripped down his face, and another soon followed suit. Before he knew it, a waterfall of tears was cascading down his cheeks, and his breaths were coming in hiccups.

Murasakibara scrunched up his nose in revulsion, as if tears were as putrid as rotting garbage. "You're disgusting." Still, he took Himuro's face in his hands, using his thumbs to catch and wipe away the tears. His digits were large enough to create an effective blockade in the tears' path. His touch was neither gentle nor forced; only helpful. Soon the tears stopped pooling out of Himuro's eyes completely and he was reduced to just snivels.

"…l-let me go. I have to continue packing," Himuro mumbled, sniffling. He attempted to slip away, but Murasakibara tightened the grip on his face and held him firmly in place.

"You can't go."

Himuro feigned anger. He pressed his palms against Murasakibara's huge chest and shoved him away. "Yes, I _can._ I can and I _will._ I already bought the plane ticket!"

Raising an eyebrow incredulously, Murasakibara gazed over at the computer screen and saw that the page that was open was the first step of checking out on the travel site; the purchase hadn't yet been confirmed. "Liar."

The feeble guise Himuro had put up crumbled, and he let out a dry sob. He stumbled back and collapsed onto the sofa, a new round of tears spilling down his cheeks. Sighing slightly, Murasakibara joined him on the other side of the couch (taking up an entire cushion) and pulled the crying man onto his lap as if he was weightless. Himuro was too upset and already humiliated to protest, so he sat there sobbing with Murasakibara's arms lightly holding him in place like a sad little kid.

"Why are you leaving Japan," Murasakibara asked in his usual monotone voice. He didn't make any gestures to ensure Himuro's comfort- didn't hold him close, or stroke his hair- yet something about his presence made Himuro feel a little, unexplainably, calmer.

"….Taiga's getting married," Himuro choked out.

"Kagami?" Murasakibara confirmed casually.

"What other Taiga is there?!" Himuro snapped. Yet, in his pathetic state, it came out as more of a squeak. He seemed to shrink a little after hearing his own voice. "…he's marrying Kuroko. Not that I couldn't see that coming… But it… It still hurts. I know, I threw our friendship away. I was the one that tore apart our bond, and told him we're not brothers anymore. It's true that I've long gotten over being his brother. But, I realized, I still want him in my life _somehow._ I think… I love him… I don't want anyone else to have him, h-he was _mine_ first! I should be allowed to claim him! But I turned him away from me… I love him, and all I've done was make him hate me. I can't deal with this… So, I have to leave," Himuro explained amidst his sniffles and sobs.

Murasakibara was silent for a few seconds; it took a while for his brain to process things. Eventually, he spoke up. "It's childish to give up so easily."

Himuro snapped his head around to glare at Murasakibara incredulously through his tears. "Childish?! You're one to talk, you give up on _everything!"_

"Not everything." Murasakibara took Himuro's chin between his finger and thumb. (Those two fingers alone were enough to completely envelope his chin.) He forced him to remain looking at him, firmly enough so that he couldn't even glance away. "You're disgusting. I hate you. I think you're pathetic and mean, and kind of worthless. Seeing you makes me sick. But I see you all the time, don't I? We still buy lunch together and text. I gave up on basketball. I gave up on high school. I gave up on every job I've had so far. There's only one thing I haven't given up on. And that's you, Tatsucchi."

Although Murasakibara spoke slowly, the uninterested tone he typically had in his voice was gone. It made Himuro listen to each and every word, and, after taking it all in, he realized that what he was saying was completely right. He had cut ties with all his old teammates, except for Himuro; the only person he seemed to willingly interact with, ever, was Himuro; he dropped out of high school, stopped playing basketball, and quit all of his jobs, and after each and every one of those the person he came to was Himuro. _He's a lazy piece of shit, but he sure is dedicated,_ Himuro thought to himself with a hint of something that could possibly be admiration.

Even after all that, Murasakibara wasn't done yet. "I thought it was only 'cause I wanted to see if you would ever get any less repulsive. But, it made me really mad just now, when you said you love Kagami. So I think it means I love you."

Himuro's entire body tensed. _Love_ him? Atsushi Murasakibara, the big incompetent ape, thought he _loved_ him?! The very notion made Himuro flustered and angry, yet not, he realized with confusion, disgusted. In a way, it was almost… relieving. Himuro had never dated anyone, never even acknowledged having a crush (until now with Kagami, of course), so knowing that anyone at all had real feelings for him was… different.

He remained silent, so Murasakibara dried his face again; it seemed he had stopped crying for real this time. Although he had taken his hand away, Himuro still hadn't moved his head, so Murasakibara took the opportunity to lean down, and kiss him.

It was a strange sensation that Himuro didn't know how to react to, especially under the circumstances. Murasakibara's lips tasted salty; he must have been eating chips on the phone. Like the rest of him, his mouth was big, and it swamped Himuro's lips, yet the kiss was precise and not sloppy. It wasn't bad at all. He pulled away eventually, but then came right back, and Himuro still didn't protest. By the third kiss, Himuro attempted to move his lips in return, and by the fifth, the kissing was completely mutual. Each kiss varied in length and passion, and by the time they had kissed ten times Himuro turned himself around so that he was straddling Murasakibara, to make the process more comfortable. Himuro slipped his fingers through Murasakibara's long locks, and Murasakibara draped an arm around Himuro's waist. They made out, steadily yet passionately, for longer than either of them could keep track.

The kisses gradually got shorter and shorter until neither of them chose to initiate another one, and instead Himuro pressed their foreheads together. His tears had completely stopped at this point, and his heart was beating fast in a different sort of way. When he opened his eyes, he saw that a single tear was trickling out of the corner of Murasakibara's eye.

"…what the hell, now _you're_ going to cry?" he muttered, not menacingly though also not exactly teasingly.

"You can't leave," Murasakibara stated in a low voice. "Nothing really matters to me but you."

Himuro didn't say anything in response, but he thought, _I know._ Instead of speaking, Himuro wrapped his arms around Murasakibara's neck and buried his face in his chest. They stayed like that for at least a few minutes. "…stay for a while," Himuro murmured against Murasakibara's shirt at one point.

"Okay," was Murasakibara's simple response. They remained in the same position a little longer, until an uncomely growl from Murasakibara's stomach told them it was lunchtime, and they decided to go out to eat.

After a quiet trip to the nearby burger joint, Murasakibara came home with Himuro. He invited him to stay a while. Before they knew it, hours had passed, and so Himuro whipped something up for dinner. "Stay a while," Himuro mumbled after putting away the dishes. So he spent the night. The two of them fell asleep kissing in each other's arms.

The same thing happened day after day for week after week, until one day Himuro decided there was no point in Murasakibara ever leaving. So, he packed up his things, stopped paying the rent for his apartment, and moved into Himuro's house. It took until that point for them to acknowledge themselves as a couple.

An entire month passed by since the whole ordeal started. Himuro had brought in the mail: mostly junk with a couple bills, except for one proper letter. The return address said "Taiga Kagami."

For a moment, Himuro considered chucking the letter. But, he decided he might as well see what was so official that it couldn't be sent over text or email, and ripped it open. Inside the envelope was a nice little card, reading, _"You are invited to the wedding of Tetsuya Kuroko and Taiga Kagami."_

Himuro stared at the invitation in shock, flipping it over and over in his hands. He had stopped frequenting Facebook, so it almost completely slipped his mind that his childhood best friend was getting married… The reminder pierced his heart with a ping of jealousy. He smiled slightly as he realized that he wasn't jealous of Kuroko, though; he was jealous that they were getting married. Of course, it was much too early in his own relationship to even think about marriage… Besides: he wasn't sure that he'd want to spend forever with that dumb oaf. He smiled adoringly at this thought, and took out his cell phone. He dialed the number listed under the RSVP.

"Taiga speaking."

It had been so long since Himuro had heard Kagami's voice that it almost pained him to suddenly hear it again. Almost. "It's Tatsuya."

"Oh, uh, hey! It's, been a while… I'm, really sorry I haven't kept in touch…"

"It's nothing," Himuro assured him.

"How've you been-?" Kagami asked, a little awkwardly.

"Fine. Great, you could say. I'm dating Atsushi, so I guess that keeps me entertained."

Himuro could just tell that Kagami's eyes bugged out of his head at that. "As in, Murasakibara-?! That's uh… Surprising… But, I'm glad for you." Himuro heard the smile in his voice.

"Thanks. More importantly, congratulations on the engagement. I'm glad for _you._ That's what I'm calling for, actually. To RSVP."

"Oh, great, then! It was probably a little sudden of me to invite you, but… I felt like I needed my brother to be there."

That took Himuro by surprise. "Your-? But, Taiga, we…"

"I think we need to put that dumb rivalry behind us. I mean, we're _adults_ now. So… I say, once a brother, _always_ a brother."

"…yeah… Yeah. Once a brother, always a brother. I'll see you at the wedding, okay? Or maybe we could hang out sometime before."

"Uh huh, that sounds good… We could grab something to eat or something."

"Bye, Taiga. Congratulations."

"Thanks, bro."

And then Himuro hung up. He slipped his phone back into his pocket, and returned to the sofa in the living room where he had been watching TV with Murasakibara. "Who was that?" the latter asked.

"No one," Himuro told him, resuming his position under Murasakibara's arm. "Say, Atsushi. Do you think you would ever want to marry me?"

Murasakibara looked down at him with his eyebrows furrowed. "No way. You disgust me."

Himuro laughed. He craned his neck up as long as it would go, and gave his lover a kiss.


End file.
